"衰收尾"

Tonight is the "real" farewell to the team head in a closed small-scale gathering afterall (after all the holidays, all the posting thing as well as rumours).  What he is going to tell me tonight? Did he standby me during the process?

Set aside the acting, it's been a mess in holding this gathering.  13 people used to raise their hands and it turned out only 7 did really sit at the dining table.  Almost half...  Some were sick, some were disappeared, some were out of town.  Amongst the 7 people attended, just realised that I was damn fucking hell the only one showed up in BOTH the official farewell as well as this small-scale one.  For instance, I roughly spent $800 on the farewell of someone (who also accidentally leads to my current situation).  How stupid I am.

Over the dinner, upon early departure of the disappointing supervisor, I was expecting the team head to tell me something (or at least reveal what he felt on this comedy).  Till the end of the dinner, he finally said "衰收尾".  Okay, that's it.  Of course I turst him, like I did during the last similar occasion half a year ago.  The mystery is still - Why is it?

All the way back home, I realised it's not indeed a new thing to me to "衰收尾".  Ever since the time of Ms Yuen till now, history repeats itself.  Together with hh, the conclusion is I'm having a life full of lies and excuses. 

- you are handsome and smart
- you are presentable
- you are having plenty of chance....in the future
- you are expecting a "normal" wife
- you are expecting a "normal" home

You know what, the turth is nothing is going to happen.