I'm here at office, silently and hopelessly on a day covered "FULLY" by Typhoon Signal #8.
I won't blame my luckiness to be posted at frontline operational position where I have to be here even there is a massive explosion but simply my personal feelings lately. Indeed, it's not a bad thing to work during bad weather, no phone calls, no emails, plenty of spare, possible tea snack from management....
The only thing bothering me is my poor skin condition.
Never intended to share to others but ridiculously I intended to hide from people because of it. It's been around 2 1/2 years that I was tortured by these redness / pimples / inflammation. It started with continuous pimples on cheek area and then prolonged redness. And now, both at the same time. Forgot how much money and time I've spent on treating this, facial (yea, facial for men), laser, chinese medicine, you name it. What can be concluded is I'm suffering from
Rosacea which uncontrollably dilates blood vessels on cheek area upon inflammation. Unfortunately, the long term cure would be "avoid items initiate the redness" such as hot food, sunshine, sauna, steam...
And it's now XXXXXXXX red, itchy and oily for my face. sighhhhhhhh
Hopeless. I feel extremely hopeless after years of sufferings and torture. I feel like fallen into a trap where I can never get out until the end of my life. When juvenile think they would be getting out of ance after puberty, mine just started at my adulthood.
I drink lots of water, do lots of exercise, stay away from sunshine and alcohol, so what? Still, I'm hopeless.
Never understood why someones suicide because of ance but now I know.
p.s. a very deep feeling when I entered a senior's room today, her face changed sharply from a smiling friendly one to a norsious fedup one. I understood clearly at that moment and it's just hopeless.
I've disappointed myself and people around.