Week 9 and 10 half way through

more and more course mates are thinking of quitting, siu hung, ah wai, pong pong and tsang. To me, do i really enjoy? It seems it's not the question in my mind but how can I get rid of the current situation and leave here with pride. Compare with them, i'm not as professional as they are, i'm not as young as they are, i'm not as smart as they are. It's obviously my last choice and the only choice. So focus, play safe and save as much as I can.
Mid term was eventually finished with everyone passed as according to the intelligence from CM. Congrads. There are still 10 weeks for us to face! Really looking forward to the coming hiking, management exercise, RC, swimming, camp and passing out. Officer is not just about the pips on our shoulder, but the way we look at our job, the way we present in front of the others.
Not much to learn these two weeks, but the most important EXPRESS system which will govern our fade in the coming years. After Christmas and New Year, time to back to residential training again.

Special feeling again

Can't remember when I had such feeling. The special but comfortable, heartbeating but natural feeling. Was it from HH? Or from Kwan? I can still remember the theory I told the others "all girls are easy-going and considerate before getting together". This time is KL, from the first day she caught my attention with her cute hair cut, to the out-going character which she presented in the class with male domination, then to the time of residential training when she pealed fruit for us every night. Tonight, we just had bbq at a course mate's place, it's so neutral that we were both in the working party, went shopping and lunch and had fun. Then we shared same all food items we cooked. These were all little things that no one really cares, but it just different to us, from a course mate to a friend, to a friend whom we are connected in some ways other than verbal.
At the same time, me and HH is having a big fight, again. The same problem, presented in a different way this time. It really doesn't matter what that was, it's about the way we trust each other and communicate with each other. I'm not looking for a gf with model appearance and figure, but a normal gf whom I can go out with her confidently. Who may enjoy being stared on the street in such a negative way? I know it's also my problem not actively helping out. What I should do then? Keeping waiting? Letting go? Forcing?
P.S. just checked the xanga of her....."a special feeling, will keep going naturally". Do you really know?

WK 7 and 8 Give up Gear up

WK 7 Can't be seven
Sometimes it's just so hard to rationalise what I'm doing. Failure after failure, but okay, I will have my promise kept, no more failure!
Mid term examination will be arranged on 24/12, which I think of being one of the most memorable christmas.
Cap 115 done
PC package done
RC started
Squad leading started
Voluntary work done

WK 8 Preparing to hell
Seemed to be a normal and easy training week which I had just an unexpected amount of "day-sleeping" time. There were chance to go to the airport applying for a staff permit, to go somewhere other than "Golden" for jogging and a 7K running competition. However, it's not simply an easy as it apparently showed, but a week preparing me to go to the hell next week. From next week, residential training will begin again till the end of training in March and most importantly, mid-term examination will be arranged on 24/12 which meant I will be preparing and revising in the camp. What will happen? Fail again? I even have no room to think about it.
And, what about Christmas this year? And a funny thing just heard today (sat), I was on the W/L of someone......
Learning points:
7K (To Lo Harbour)+ 4K (Maclehose trail) run
VC package started
Supervisory Mangement Programe meeting II completed
APC supervision completed
The biggest matches in England - ManU v Liv and Che v Ars will be missed owing to the return to the camp on sun night.

反省wk5

已經完成wk5, 一切都唔再可以做藉口, 唔適應, 唔熟悉, 唔上力, 唔知道.....談不上大進步, 但起碼開始知道部門對自己的要求. 是否真的要唔笑唔叫唔開心口黑面黑, 一副enforcement樣子, 100% alert, 坐直企直行直. 與ACM的meeting後的確多少有更多的肯定, 但重點是我是否做得到, 我又是否適合? 大大話話的前20年, 不如意事時有發生, 但每天的我可說仍然是樂天一派. 作為一個終生career, 一世保持這副認同的樣子, 我真的做得到嗎?
第5次test完成, 又fail. 今次欠1.25分. 隨之見到eric在drill ground給ACM痛斥(大大力個隻), 在他眼中, 見到一絲絲的淚光和憤怒, 其他人又會因為事不關己而開心嗎?joey, 突然在場上不支下巴落地, 一身鮮血, 那份可怕的壓力和堅持, 究竟為什麼?
Learning points:
Physical: 4.8k, staircase running for 6X12/F, weight training
Residential: 2 wks
Drill: march, march turning, eyes right
Others: walkie-talkie usage, union introduction
Ordinance: Cap.331 done, Cap.115
PC package: clearance exercise (4 correct out of 20, wow)