Special feeling again

Can't remember when I had such feeling. The special but comfortable, heartbeating but natural feeling. Was it from HH? Or from Kwan? I can still remember the theory I told the others "all girls are easy-going and considerate before getting together". This time is KL, from the first day she caught my attention with her cute hair cut, to the out-going character which she presented in the class with male domination, then to the time of residential training when she pealed fruit for us every night. Tonight, we just had bbq at a course mate's place, it's so neutral that we were both in the working party, went shopping and lunch and had fun. Then we shared same all food items we cooked. These were all little things that no one really cares, but it just different to us, from a course mate to a friend, to a friend whom we are connected in some ways other than verbal.
At the same time, me and HH is having a big fight, again. The same problem, presented in a different way this time. It really doesn't matter what that was, it's about the way we trust each other and communicate with each other. I'm not looking for a gf with model appearance and figure, but a normal gf whom I can go out with her confidently. Who may enjoy being stared on the street in such a negative way? I know it's also my problem not actively helping out. What I should do then? Keeping waiting? Letting go? Forcing?
P.S. just checked the xanga of her....."a special feeling, will keep going naturally". Do you really know?