Week 9 and 10 half way through

more and more course mates are thinking of quitting, siu hung, ah wai, pong pong and tsang. To me, do i really enjoy? It seems it's not the question in my mind but how can I get rid of the current situation and leave here with pride. Compare with them, i'm not as professional as they are, i'm not as young as they are, i'm not as smart as they are. It's obviously my last choice and the only choice. So focus, play safe and save as much as I can.
Mid term was eventually finished with everyone passed as according to the intelligence from CM. Congrads. There are still 10 weeks for us to face! Really looking forward to the coming hiking, management exercise, RC, swimming, camp and passing out. Officer is not just about the pips on our shoulder, but the way we look at our job, the way we present in front of the others.
Not much to learn these two weeks, but the most important EXPRESS system which will govern our fade in the coming years. After Christmas and New Year, time to back to residential training again.

Special feeling again

Can't remember when I had such feeling. The special but comfortable, heartbeating but natural feeling. Was it from HH? Or from Kwan? I can still remember the theory I told the others "all girls are easy-going and considerate before getting together". This time is KL, from the first day she caught my attention with her cute hair cut, to the out-going character which she presented in the class with male domination, then to the time of residential training when she pealed fruit for us every night. Tonight, we just had bbq at a course mate's place, it's so neutral that we were both in the working party, went shopping and lunch and had fun. Then we shared same all food items we cooked. These were all little things that no one really cares, but it just different to us, from a course mate to a friend, to a friend whom we are connected in some ways other than verbal.
At the same time, me and HH is having a big fight, again. The same problem, presented in a different way this time. It really doesn't matter what that was, it's about the way we trust each other and communicate with each other. I'm not looking for a gf with model appearance and figure, but a normal gf whom I can go out with her confidently. Who may enjoy being stared on the street in such a negative way? I know it's also my problem not actively helping out. What I should do then? Keeping waiting? Letting go? Forcing?
P.S. just checked the xanga of her....."a special feeling, will keep going naturally". Do you really know?

WK 7 and 8 Give up Gear up

WK 7 Can't be seven
Sometimes it's just so hard to rationalise what I'm doing. Failure after failure, but okay, I will have my promise kept, no more failure!
Mid term examination will be arranged on 24/12, which I think of being one of the most memorable christmas.
Cap 115 done
PC package done
RC started
Squad leading started
Voluntary work done

WK 8 Preparing to hell
Seemed to be a normal and easy training week which I had just an unexpected amount of "day-sleeping" time. There were chance to go to the airport applying for a staff permit, to go somewhere other than "Golden" for jogging and a 7K running competition. However, it's not simply an easy as it apparently showed, but a week preparing me to go to the hell next week. From next week, residential training will begin again till the end of training in March and most importantly, mid-term examination will be arranged on 24/12 which meant I will be preparing and revising in the camp. What will happen? Fail again? I even have no room to think about it.
And, what about Christmas this year? And a funny thing just heard today (sat), I was on the W/L of someone......
Learning points:
7K (To Lo Harbour)+ 4K (Maclehose trail) run
VC package started
Supervisory Mangement Programe meeting II completed
APC supervision completed
The biggest matches in England - ManU v Liv and Che v Ars will be missed owing to the return to the camp on sun night.

反省wk5

已經完成wk5, 一切都唔再可以做藉口, 唔適應, 唔熟悉, 唔上力, 唔知道.....談不上大進步, 但起碼開始知道部門對自己的要求. 是否真的要唔笑唔叫唔開心口黑面黑, 一副enforcement樣子, 100% alert, 坐直企直行直. 與ACM的meeting後的確多少有更多的肯定, 但重點是我是否做得到, 我又是否適合? 大大話話的前20年, 不如意事時有發生, 但每天的我可說仍然是樂天一派. 作為一個終生career, 一世保持這副認同的樣子, 我真的做得到嗎?
第5次test完成, 又fail. 今次欠1.25分. 隨之見到eric在drill ground給ACM痛斥(大大力個隻), 在他眼中, 見到一絲絲的淚光和憤怒, 其他人又會因為事不關己而開心嗎?joey, 突然在場上不支下巴落地, 一身鮮血, 那份可怕的壓力和堅持, 究竟為什麼?
Learning points:
Physical: 4.8k, staircase running for 6X12/F, weight training
Residential: 2 wks
Drill: march, march turning, eyes right
Others: walkie-talkie usage, union introduction
Ordinance: Cap.331 done, Cap.115
PC package: clearance exercise (4 correct out of 20, wow)

Week 3 - failure comes

Never thought about being FAILED by somebody after completing school for years. Here, in the disciplinary training, is just as simple as a school. The more your work hard, the better the result you might get and the less likely I would have been failed by madam. This week, I failed in a test with 2 marks from the passing mark 80. Shame.
The week can be concluded by such a word. Frankly I don't care too much about the overall pass mark or performance after the training. However, it's just one thing that stick in my mind - TEAM. Because of my failure in the test (out of 2), we were labeled as bad, a loose team, careless....you name it.
God, I've paid my best during the preparation and tried to think thoroughly when answering, what's gone wrong then? There is still so so much I want to know and understand here.
Buddy, understood that we might not be as sharp as our neighbours and most of us were so worried and nervous with the tight test schedule and class. Please, try our best to take easy and most importantly, enjoy.
Well, just can't organised my words very well. Good Friday coming with a challenging Monday. Residential training will be started. Commandant inspection is coming.
Learning points:
- foot drill: stationery (dressing, 2 to 3 and 3 to 2 ranks)
- physical: 3.6K run plus fitness room usage
- ordinance: detention and offence
- package: PC passenger clearance
- policy group project: project framework completed
p.s. to X25, what the hell you guys are? Do you really enjoy staying cool all the time, fighting to answer questions in the class, beating everyone? Is it all about disiplinary force?

The second week

Don't know how long I can stand with this training. From my previous record, I recognised that I'm definitely not a tough man...as an u-team team mate, as a teacher, as a guy in an unimaginable female working environment.....
With super tight schedule that I don't even have time to rest, I simply can't calculate how much longer I can stand. Of course, not only me, I have been adapting to the pace and conditions of the training, but it's just tough. Drill, physical, ordinance, practical procedures, appearance...day by day, night by night. There will be lot more coming ahead.
Just heard the news that Ah Oi will quit on Monday owing to personal reason. It seemed like an alarm to everyone, to everyone who was dreaming in the class, who was hea-ing in physical, who was imagining to have a "comfortable" job. Second week done and 18 left.
Learning points:
- ordinance related to clearance and detention
- foot drill (stationery)
- appearance (drill dress and pt kits plus hair)
- protocol (indoor, drill ground and proceeding)
- physical fitness (circuit and cardio 2.4k)

Started

Have to make it short. Training has been started for the second day and frankly I don't really enjoy. It could be the matter of straightness of trainers, it could be the problem of keeping the room temperature at 25.5, it could be the problem of packed schedule, it could be the long distance of travel everyday, it could be the massive money I've spent in a few days......
However, just realised, IT'S REALLY HARD TO ADAPT TO A NEW PHASE IN MY LIFE. I don't know how much time it may take for me to get used to it, I'm trying.
Luckily that I have her to comfort me every night after work. Thank you.